What aspects of a boyfriend should be clear in order to get married?

What aspects of a girlfriend should be clear in order to get married? Relevant Questions: Can Older Left-behind Women Marry Mr. Thumb? Is it a loss for women to buy half a house? How to evaluate the boy in the question description?
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Originally, I wanted to write some chicken soup, but at first sight, the theme mentioned the character, character and values, and I felt that the theme was genuine.

As the saying goes, "Men are afraid to enter the wrong profession, women are afraid to marry the wrong man." In such a life-long event as marriage, we really should spend more energy and more attention on snacks.


As for personality, personality and values, I would like to point out that for most people, these three points are difficult to change.

But if I have to pick one that can change, I choose character.

The reason why personality can only be mentioned is that personality can determine people's behavior patterns, and through the behavior caused by personality influence, it can reflect the personality and values of the other party, which is why almost all areas involving the analysis of psychology and behavior are the first to do personality testing.

In the hearts of many girls, marriage is almost the biggest thing in life, so many girls will use a lot of brains in this regard.

But more and more people understand that the criteria for selecting a husband are different from those for selecting a husband.

Some people may choose a good husband, but he is not necessarily an excellent person; while others choose a good man, but he may not be able to be a good husband.

Of course, there are many men who are both excellent and good husbands. This is the best case, but admittedly, it will be more difficult.

What kind of man you choose to be your husband often depends on what kind of life you want to live in the future.

What kind of man you choose to live with determines to a large extent what kind of life you will live in the future.

From ancient times to the present, it is not easy to choose a husband, so you have to work harder:



Say a few things for your reference:

1. Does he have you in his heart? Does he know the pain and the heat?

This is the most important criterion to measure the quality of two people's feelings, which ranks first.

Whether he is a common people or a son of businessmen and politicians, whether he is an ordinary worker or a high-ranking official or a rich man, without this, he can not marry.

If he can't do that before marriage, you won't get much better pay after marriage.

Some girls may worry about whether the man cares and complies with everything during his love life, but everything changes when he gets married.

This phenomenon does exist. If you want to avoid it, I think you can pay attention to these aspects:

First of all, it has something to do with whether a person is selfish or not. If you observe that he is selfish before marriage and only pays more and does everything with you, there is a great possibility that he will change his mind after marriage.

How to judge if he was selfish before marriage? You need to see more about his behavior, his attitude towards his friends, whether he meets interests and forgets righteousness, whether he only spends money on himself, if he only uses his friends as tools, then your role is likely to be similar.

Secondly, you have to see if his attitude towards life has always been very serious. People who have always been very serious about life usually have strong principles. This principle will have a profound impact on people. If he thinks that being good to you is his principle, he will basically continue to be good to you after marriage.

Often there are boys who promise to be good to girls after marriage, but their daily life attitude is very poor, lack of attention and seriousness and principle. Usually, the good to girls after marriage can not last long.

Finally, we can pay attention to his family style. If his parents are respectful and affectionate, their children will be better to their spouses after marriage, because he has witnessed their parents'feelings since childhood and set an example there, which will have a great impact on his view of love.

I don't mean to discriminate against children from single-parent families or children from families whose parents have changed. I just want to talk about some personal experiences. In fact, many of these children are also very eager to love and willing to love, but there are often some deviations in the way of grasping and using love.

For example: special attention will be paid to the control of the other half, or the personality and values of the inappropriate breakup as a betrayal of their own feelings of revenge, or insecurity is more serious and lead to lack of confidence in love and their ability to love, all these are the impact of previous experience on personal growth, is in need. Where to pay attention in the process of love.


2. Communicate with each other on the same channel and understand each other's meaning.

The couples usually have different degrees of differences in personality, interest, occupation, family conditions and so on. If you want to live in harmony after marriage, the communication between the two sides is best on the same channel.

As the saying goes, "there is a common language" refers to this point, which is quite important. Once you enter the palace of marriage, you will live together for a long time. Unless you get married for other motives, such as greed for the wealth of the other party, otherwise if there is no common language, the probability of marriage failure will be high.

Whether the two sides can communicate calmly and equally when confronted with problems or differences, state their opinions and opinions respectively, and at the same time, analyze and deal with them from the other side's point of view, and finally reach a consensus. This is the characteristic of many emotionally stable and personality mature couples, and also the happiness of marriage in the future. Guarantee.


3. Are they willing to create a better life for their families? They don't know how to love and pay for their families. They don't know how to be modest.

Some men, in fact, are "Peter Pan". Before they grow up, they enter the marriage hall in a confused way. In the past, they have been sheltered by their parents. They have not experienced any setbacks. Once they let him assume the responsibility of the new family, they will often be unable to do so.

No one wants to turn family into a haven of happiness, but there are two concepts: idea and ability. If he is still a boy, it is not enough for him to have the will to create a good family life.

For this point, you can examine the other party's work focus and whether there are practical plans, which can test whether he is ambitious, whether there will be a skill in the future.

Understanding how to love and pay for family is an important indicator of a man's sense of responsibility, of course, for girls as well.

Before marriage, the couple's life is often "piano, chess, calligraphy, painting, poetry, hops and flowers", but after marriage, they must face "firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea". If they do not know how to pay for love and family, the marriage will be problematic sooner or later.

Also, whether he knows to let you, whether he knows to care for you, this can see his values.

Many soft-hearted girls regard men's ignorance of modesty as male chauvinism or masculinity. In fact, this is not the case at all. That is selfishness, and selfishness is very difficult to change.

Some people will say that selfishness is human nature, I admit that, but I think if two people have love together, we should not put selfishness in the first place, otherwise what else should we love?


4. Does he always have the desire and requirement to grow up?

This is very important. Why do some girls find that their husbands are becoming more and more dull after they get married? Often there is something wrong with this aspect.

Once married, some people will "put weapons in storage and horses in Nanshan" and even use "once children are in love, they will be short of heroic spirit" to justify themselves, but in fact, marriage is only the beginning of a new family life.

If the other party shows the idea that once they get married, they will finish the big thing before they get married, then you should be careful, especially for men with good family conditions, who are not enterprising in nature.

Creativity is possible only if you want to grow up. Happy life comes from creativity. Many girls who marry some impotent rich second-generation girls for less hardship and material enjoyment have not been happy after marriage. The lesson lies in this. So the key is to choose the right person.



5. Can each other tolerate the other's non-principled shortcomings?

Everyone has his own personality, and everyone also has his own shortcomings and shortcomings. Lovers can not be happy and happy every day in communication. If you want to determine whether you can be with each other for a lifetime, you need to examine each other's shortcomings.

In the process of getting along with each other, if we find the principled shortcomings of each other, we must consider carefully when deciding the relationship between two people.

The shortcomings of principle refer to the nature of derailment, leg splitting, theft, drug abuse and so on.

It doesn't matter whether you are introverted or extroverted. It's important to keep your mood and behavior stable.

By observing and feeling a person's speech and behavior carefully, it won't be long before you can feel his essence.

Some immature girls often hold the idea of "love him or her all", which is very naive.

Such views as "marry chickens with chickens, marry dogs with dogs", "every family is like this, it is difficult for honest officials to break down housework, which family is confused" are the most harmful. In many cases, it is not an emotional problem at all, but a human problem. It is only because of the cover of marriage that disguises it as an emotional problem. And marital problems.

Marriage is not charity. Never let the plot of the Virgin Mary run rampant and make trouble for yourself. Once you step into the door of marriage and find it unsuitable, it will cost a lot to get rid of it.



I feel that these five points are enough to judge whether a man can marry or not, and some people even say that I am harsh.

Chinese men and women are mostly shaped in the Chinese environment. There are not many independent thinking abilities. But there are not many good men and women. They just need to learn too much and experience too much. Therefore, these men and women can not be found casually. Yes, and it absolutely depends on time to choose a person, let alone choose a person who wants to spend the rest of his life together, how can we do it without much effort?

And I don't share some of the answers that listed a bunch of questions before. It seems rational, but this is not the way of thinking of the Chinese people. I think it's OK in my heart. If I talk to each other on the face of it, I don't think I'll have to wait for you to finish asking, but they quit early.


It's not the past. The older you get, the more unhappy you will find many people around you, the more unhappy you will be, the more unhappy you will find someone who can't be happy at all.

Writing so much, I just want to express an attitude that in areas involving major life choices, it is impossible to make up for it.

Although everyone has their own pains and stories, don't easily lower your standards.

People in this world have all kinds of ideas, whether they concentrate on life or play life. They are all personal choices, and no one else has the right to interfere.

But I always think that people should believe in something, especially marriage and love.


A little more:

Attention should also be paid to his attitude towards his parents'opinions.

In our parents'generation, matchmaker's words had a great influence on parents' lives. Many people may have married and formed families without love and common language, which was caused by special historical conditions.

If we choose the other half now and follow the previous generation's practice, blindly follow the parents'opinions, the problem of forming a family is not big, but it will be difficult to find the right person to live a happy life.

If the other party listens to his parents in everything, even regards prejudice and unreasonable words as criteria, and is the kind of person who can sacrifice principles for filial piety, he must be careful before marrying him.



Let's end with the following passage and picture again. I like it very much. Wishing all lovers a happy marriage.

Coupled with your courage, my courage is enough to deal with the world, isn't it? To voice our voice to the world, I dare not alone, with you, I dare. ———— Wang Xiaobo's Love You Like Love Life



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