Why don't some girls want to have children now?

Question Linkage: javascript:void(0);

Why don't you want to have children?

I used to be told by others that I had a good figure, a straight C-chest and no fat on my lower abdomen. When I was single, my life in our 18th-tier city was very small. Before marriage, I had my own house, car and a good salary job. I could often go shopping, drink tea and travel with my girlfriends. Parents have their own small businesses and live a leisurely life without burdens.

Poverty-alleviating type of upside-down marriage, thinking that men can take good care of my life. After marriage, because the other party's conditions are general, their respective economic independence after marriage, unexpectedly, after the birth of a child burst out a pile of usurious online loans, commercial credit cards. The fierce temper that hides deep and does not reveal, will never coax you to let you, will only insult and satirize you, hit me hard at that time.

I have a baby. I have a caesarean section. It is self-evident that pain is self-sustaining. The gestational striae, scars and sagging breast after breast-feeding, I can not see my own body. The most important and vulnerable time is when the slag man and the wicked mother-in-law sing in black and white, pretending to perform, and those words insult and attack that I am a fool really good deception.

This world is too dark, where do good men have??? What women do not want to have children more and more? In fact, women should not marry, let alone have children!

Divorced, single with children, other people go to hell. I was born, I was raised, I was in charge, the others were assholes! Don't share my bread, don't pollute my spiritual civilization.

—————— The words spoken before seemed quite exciting. When I saw this question and answer, my brain was very hot and I felt so sad. [Netizens said that the previous paragraph of my language was sharp, the words revealed that I despised the man and so on. Indeed, I admit that when I sent this paragraph, I was in an impulsive mood, and also expressed my strong dissatisfaction with this marriage, but also lamented why I met such a person, and resented it.

I used these words to describe all kinds of economic situations at that time after my miserable marriage, but when I got married, I felt that it was okay to have no money, poor economic conditions and struggle for everything. In fact, economic independence was used to describe the fact that he did not want the other party to work too hard, so he did not completely support his family. It's about sharing the expenses of the family, regardless of you or me. But now everything I think is useless. I despise him with all my heart. I don't know what words I'm going to use to describe his calculation and planning for me now...

Maybe I need time to let go of this unbearable marriage, and I hope I will be more rational in the future. I really looked down upon him when I sent this paragraph. This kind of cheater is most despised in the heart. It seems that I am still emotional about this failed marriage. I need to fade out slowly. You can't show these unhappy, unhappy and negative feelings in front of your children... I don't know those words when I'm rational. Hey... 】 Hope for time

... Forget to say that it may also be because of anger, breast feeding and other reasons. After weaning, there are relatively large cysts in the breast. I once suspected that breast cancer had occurred. I went to Shanghai from a small city for examination. The doctor said that the cysts were relatively large but should be benign. I suggest follow-up visit. Ps: Another reason why my belly looks so terrible is that I did not have any fat before. On the day of the birth, my mind was clear. Three doctors were still talking about how thin and tight my belly was (the skin of my stomach turned transparent and bright in the later pregnancy, it was really thin). During pregnancy, the hands, feet and arms were not fat anywhere, except the chest and stomach became bigger. The doctor also lamented that he had never seen a bit of fat in the big stomach. The baby's head was too big to take out, and he also had a knife to mend. So when the knife was sewed, the skin was too thin to sew. The place where the knife was mended could also be seen, and the scar was not. Same, that part is uneven; and there are gravida white flowers before the pink now slowly whiten to the belly is indeed very relaxed, for now I dare not look directly at myself -~I do not know how long it will take to recover, now the child is 19 months old -[Many netizens asked why vertical cut, I'm not very old. I'm optimistic. I'm still a baby in my heart. I don't know why our third-class hospitals are vertical. At that time, the hospital also said that if we have two births in the future, we should be more vertical. (God, at that time, I thought I would be happy and have two births, God knows what evil I have. ) To tell the truth, women will be willing to love their children, but also for their own blood, natural maternity...

Now looking at his scars, I suddenly understand why so many men in TV series are going to derail after their wives have children... Maybe it's also disgusting.

Really, only true love and gratitude can withstand all storms...

———————————————— - ——

Splitting line: Added in the early morning of July 16, I didn't expect to receive so many answers. I didn't expect to receive so many replies. In fact, the reason why women choose marriage is very simple. They need a sincere, down-to-earth and caring to build a new happy family together. Women need more care in marriage than they need in the economy. At least that was when I chose to marry. (Because most of our parents after 80.90 have very good conditions, almost all of our parents have houses, cars and pensions. Marriage for me was really to start a beautiful family, to have children, to have business, to share the ups and downs of life with each other, to have a person who can speak and love himself at any time in the confusion and helplessness, and to be happy and simple all the time. But the reality is cruel!

What I said is not to lower the living standard, not only material, but also spiritual and spiritual. If it was for material reasons, I would not choose to marry someone worse off than me and my family at the beginning. Psychological asynchrony can cause great harm. To be honest, it's much harder to be hurt mentally than to lose money. What is it that you can't extricate yourself from marriage, that life is worse than death, that you suffer hardships, and that you have to pretend to be happy and not to be exposed? It's really tired. Maybe I didn't express it well enough. I can only say that I can understand it myself.

Sometimes people will blame me me myself for not knowing people, but sometimes it's really hard to see clearly if a person really intends to deceive you and hide you. It really takes time to see a person's character, and it takes a long time.

The first impulse is to say something about the grotesque man, the grotesque mother-in-law, for a moment. But I also have my own principles of life, I can tolerate a lot of money can be owed to deceive me once, but I can not be deceived again and again, no trust is equal to no heart, really can not continue. I don't blame anyone for divorce. It's really my bad vision and bad brain. Now I choose to ignore it for my carelessness and hasty marriage, and I choose not to hit the south wall and not turn around. It's a bit expensive to take risks and pay for it. It's good to stop losing money in time. Marriage really changed my whole life trajectory, so later newcomers must be cautious in choosing marriage and giving birth to children.

In addition, when my child was a few months old, Ben was ready to negotiate an agreement, but the reality forced me to sue for divorce twice, with no one knows the twists and horrors in the middle. Many times, thanks to the continuous improvement of the marriage law, the loss is not so heavy. Now that I am a single mother, I have started a new life with my children, and everything will be better.

When I was young, I thought it was not enough to understand life without reading. Only later did I realize that if I did not understand life, I could not read. Perhaps the meaning of reading is to read with the feelings of life and live with the gains from reading. I used to read other people's cases of marriage failure, and I couldn't understand them or understand them, but now I have experienced them before I understand them.

I can't describe my short marriage. I can't write hundreds of thousands of words. Let's stop haha. A word to sum up: Bad marriage can really drag your life down. Yes... Tow... Break down...

So I still work hard to make money, the most important thing is to give children a better living and learning environment. I am a single mother. I am very grateful to my parents, my relatives and friends who love and love my children very much.

Now all the living points have not changed compared with before, I am very glad to harvest a happy child, to accompany him every step of his growth. And I'm no longer as silly as before to yearn for any so-called "good to you" love ~~

It also gradually made me understand that only those surrounded by love can know how to love. Selfish people never understand love.

Marriage without disorder is a woman's due consciousness! Never marry for the sake of marriage, here silently commemorate my short marriage.

Forget to say: "A man marries a woman who won't mess with you and look for life even if you divorce her in the future; a woman marries a man who won't hurt you or hurt you even if you divorce him in the future." I think it makes sense to share it with you.


Running out of the question, finally: Female compatriots, children can be born, but clearly know who you should have a crystal of love with. Children are not born for others, but for themselves and their lover's share of the good heritage.

If unfortunately you don't meet such a lover, you can not live. Many young people nowadays do not have children within two years after marriage, so it is to be observed, because many of them do not know how to get married in a hurry before marriage.

Perhaps after birth found that the gap between the two lives can not continue, can peacefully divorce, then peaceful coexistence, business, children can grow up happily.

If you can't bear to divorce when you are born, then the one who has the right of upbringing should give the child enough love, full love, not spoiling, love, not mentioning the past, teach yourself to love others. Children are equally good. No matter how difficult it is, we should persist in being positive and not complain. I am also alerting myself.

There is also the future do not know whether the legalization of sperm fertilization, want to have children, women want to realize their reproductive value, the reality is really relatively simple, and so on the day of legalization, maybe many independent women will have this choice, no other people bring complex troubles in real life are much simpler. Of course, you need to be sure that you can really be a good mother to choose this step, and you need to have sufficient economic foundation and stress tolerance. Actually, it's also very good.

About author
Related Questions