Worried about my 14-year-old daughter falling in love, should I check her cell phone?


Tell you as a junior high school teacher

Don't bother about it. It's no use.

It is common for junior high school students to fall in love. What they usually talk about really shocked us adults and even blushed and sighed at the simplicity of ourselves at that time. Your children were more complicated than you thought.

Now the child's mind is much more mature than before, and at the critical moment of adolescence, you can only make her more and more alienated from you, guard against you, then you don't want to know anything.

What you have to do is to calm down with your mind, get answers by communicating with her, listen to her thoughts, let her know that you and she are in the same boat, and can solve all kinds of problems and puzzles with her.

It's better to talk with her about what kind of boys she likes, whether there are any people around her who think she's very good, why she likes him, what she should do for this love and so on, so as to understand your daughter's real thoughts. At the same time, you also talk about your ideas, but only to express that you do not force her to accept your values, and slowly guide her to think deeply about this issue.

Puppy love is not a fierce flood, but a green and precious fruit. It is the first time a child feels the joy and pain of the two sexes. It is a challenge in her life. It is also a very important opportunity for parents to guide and educate her. We must not blindly deny that she forbids her.

The more emotionally distressed children are, the more they want to express their distress. Of course, they also want to be understood by their parents.

It's really important for her to be a friend or "enemy" of her adolescence. It's hard to build trust with your child, but it's too easy to destroy it so that she doesn't believe you. The simplest thing is to look at her cell phone, find a teacher, and make her not have puppy love.

In the eyes of children of their age, this is not good for you. It is betrayal. You betray them and become their "enemies". They will silently stay away from you and hide their true thoughts in order to avoid your anger and betrayal again.

In daily communication with students and their compositions, it is easy to see that children who trust their parents like to talk to others about their parents and see them as the real reliance that can give them strength. They usually trust their teachers more than their parents'children. Their parents always complain that you have more time for teachers. Talking with the child, he went home and said nothing to us. I don't know his thoughts at all.

If you are a dominant, arbitrary parent, then the child does not want to tell you, may not want to listen to your so-called hard words for his good, may not want to be rejected by you, may not want to disappoint you, may not want to accept the idea you imposed on him.

If parents want to talk to their children, don't take it seriously. Most of them fail to start with "Mom talks to you today, you have to tell me what you really think." This is similar to saying "You honestly confess your crimes, what you say will become a court testimony" when they judge prisoners. White-eyed said, "I'm going to talk to you again. I won't tell you."

In order to create a suitable context to lead to the topic, we should naturally start the topic in the appropriate scene. For example, when you watch a movie about adolescent love stories, you should first express your opinion, affirm more than negate, or use your own ideas to demonstrate to arouse children's interest, such as "It's good for middle school students to be simple, envious, and mother liked boys at that time, but not at that time." "This boy is quite handsome, but I prefer the style of Style..." Finally, I threw the topic to her and asked her to express her opinion. "What do you think?" "Do you like boys like that?" Whatever she says, you have to ask to express your interest. Remember, at this time, don't deny her or ask you directly if you are looking for someone. It seems like a cliche. Be patient, but don't break the casserole and ask after all. Take a few more situational conversations to slowly open her heart and let her know that you are open. Ming's parents you can understand her

Find ways to build a good relationship with your child before you can better understand her and understand her to better solve the problem, right?

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Happy to receive so many compliments for the first time. Thank you.

Thank you for your affirmation. In fact, teachers may not take puppy love seriously, because we know it. You really can't control it. Privately, students really enjoy discussing who likes whom, who looks good and who is handsome. Some students who look honest and introverted also have secret love objects. Students who study very well also secretly fall in love. Some even can not restrain themselves from expressing their pain in the exam composition, which makes people laugh and cry. We usually combine hard and soft. We observe these students closely in their daily life, talk to them when necessary, and combine them with kindness, focus and seriousness.

Let me talk about puppy love again. I think some parents are too worried about puppy love. It's normal for a child to have such feelings. You should always allow the child to experience something and solve something, which will form an important memory of his life. And not all likes will have results, not all puppy love will become the killer of academic performance, not all puppy love will let children steal forbidden fruit, specific analysis of the problem, hope parents can listen to their children's ideas and understanding, calm analysis of the extent of development, and then take appropriate measures.

The so-called puppy love has many kinds of situations, different situations need to be solved by different methods. For example, some students are deeply in love, and their absent-mindedness can be seen in their study and homework. This situation needs to be talked to him in time, but the key point is not to tell him not to like others and that it is normal to tell him that he likes and loves others. In order to like you, you should be better yourself. If you want to be loved, you should make yourself more worthy of being loved. In school, you should be more active, harder, glowing and feverish. Let love become the driving force to push you forward. Tell him that the right likes should be that both of you are better, and have common goals and can work together to promote each other. If you do this, parents and teachers can rest assured and you can be better.

To really affect learning, parents should communicate with teachers in time and reach an agreement to guide children in a better direction together, instead of scolding them for breaking up, in case they are indiscriminate or even more concealed.

For example, you need to make your children understand that they are responsible for their choices and make a contract with their parents and teachers. You need to fall in love. But now your main task is to learn. You must do what you want to do well before you can do what you want to do. Let him make his own commitments and set goals. If you can't achieve what kind of punishment you should accept. This contract must be approved by him, and he will be more motivated to do it.

Some friends commented that we should combine some sex education, which I think is very necessary. Now children know everything, but never have a formal occasion to teach them this matter formally and scientifically. They can only learn it by themselves from various channels. It's quite risky. In fact, parents must first establish healthy sex. Concepts, and then seriously teach children to protect themselves, let him know that this is a serious matter, is the bottom line.

Also, don't button the hat of puppy love casually. Maybe people don't like it. When you say puppy love, she really starts thinking about it and falls in love with it.

Unexpectedly, many middle school students will see that there are still so many minors, so I want to tell you, your parents are not easy, you should be less demon, they want to know that you just do not know how to do, they just use their own way to care about you, even if you do not like, but also know that they love you. You don't know how many troubles the middle-aged people have to solve in the world. They will also feel powerless. They cry for you behind their backs and can't sleep for you. You may be sad because the person you like hasn't answered your news. Think more about your parents and let them worry less.

Think about it, if you are a parent, you suspect that your child is secretly making friends with boys and girls behind your back, and you don't tell you anything, and you are always on guard against you. Are you anxious or angry? If your baby is a girl, do you worry that she will be bullied by some stinky boy? Are you anxious or not? Change is bilateral, parents do not understand, you can first release a friendly signal ah, even if you do not want to tell them about puppy love, then you can change their performance, let them have nothing to say ah.

Adults need capital to fall in love. Junior high school students also need capital. Your capital is that you have the ability to balance your studies and feelings. You have the ability to balance those who oppose you with your grades. You have the ability to become better together with ta. If your grades are not good enough, you are lazy and ignorant, and you are muddleheaded, the teacher tells you that you have to be early. Love deserves to be scolded.


In my personal experience, my mother always looked at my cell phone in high school and college, so I practiced super vigilance, and firmly refused to let my cell phone fall into her hands. I felt nervous to take it when she stood beside me.

Now think about it, because I don't tell her anything and she wants to know me, she just wants to look at the mobile phone, so students, or parents to communicate more, you think they don't understand you because you didn't try to let them know you, or express the need you need to be understood. Some parents are very stubborn, but you can think of ways to tell them that they can accept it. Why do they worry about your puppy love? Are they afraid that you will delay your study or that you will steal the forbidden fruit? You have to take action to solve their worries. You are the closest parent in the world. Don't shut them out. Don't let him know you only by looking at his cell phone

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