How can I overcome my mind that I care too much about other people's ideas?

Sometimes even because of too much concern and anxiety, how can I overcome it? Do you need guidance?
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First of all, Be strong! I have been reading "Song of Ice and Fire" as "Romance of the Three Kingdoms". The two novels I most appreciate are Taiwen and Cao Cao. What they have in common is wisdom and darkness.
Let's first look at the context in which Twain said this.
Twain wasn't so smart. He ripped James apart. Many people just want to show or flaunt that they don't care about what others say.

This view is similar in Maugham's Moon and Sixpence. Strickland said, "Some people say that he doesn't care what others think of him. It's mostly self-deceiving... But I think it's probably the most ingrained instinct of civilized human beings to get the approval of others. I absolutely don't believe those who tell us they don't care what others think of them. It's just an ignorant bluff. What they mean is that they believe that others will never find their faults at all, so they are not afraid that others will condemn them." It has been proved that only Strickland himself has been indifferent to other people's opinions. His paintings have never been judged by his peers, and many of them were destroyed before he died. But Maugham did not elaborate too much on this point.

The reason is that human beings are born with a kind of judgment of their own value. Uncertainty - - Our understanding of ourselves depends largely on what other people think of us. 。 Alande Burton has such a wonderful metaphor in his Love Notes: "A solitary person can get everything, but he has no personality, that is to say, personality is born in the reaction of others to himself. We set ourselves up according to what other people think, so different people make us feel different about ourselves. This self can be compared to an amoeba, whose shell can be flexible and flexible to adapt to the environment. So the fundamental solution is“ Know yourself " One of the most important words in my growing up is "Know Thyself". This is an ancient Greek motto. In my opinion, it contains all the wisdom of life.

If we can really know ourselves, what kind of person we are and what kind of life we want, how can we care about the compliments and criticisms of others? As Schopenhauer said, once we fully understand the superficial and empty nature of other people's thoughts, the narrow view of others, the triviality and boredom of other people's emotions, the absurdity and perverseness of other people's ideas, and the insurmountable defence of other people's mistakes, we will gradually become indifferent to the activities carried out in other people's brains, and we will become indifferent to them. Understand that anyone who overvalues the opinions of others gives them too much dignity. Too much attention to the opinions of those who will not appear at our funerals is the destruction of the best times of our short life. Only those reproaches that hit the target can hurt us. Our personal qualities should not depend on other people's evaluation. Hasn't Hebi been recognized by the King of Chu, and its own value has been reduced? Did Li Bai's poems and essays not shock the past and the present when he was banished to Yelang? When we really know ourselves, we don't care what a random group of passers-by, formed by methylethylpropidine, thinks of us.

Another point worth mentioning is not to accept criticism and criticism without reason, nor to accept praise without reason. Obviously, the latter is more difficult. No matter what kind of evaluation, after a rational analysis, whether it is said to be right or not, if it is changed, if it is not, it is only encouraged.
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